God and His word > me and my kleenex box

Coming home to Northwestern after being in Texas was kind of frightening. Throughout the week at Calvary Commission my mind kept bringing me back to conversations I'd had with campers last summer about how Satan would try to remove from them the changes they had decided to make, that the new mindset they found while being at camp would be attacked and going back to their previous way of living would be easy. I've been put in the place of my campers. While I was in Texas I developed a different mindset, a different way I want to live, new views and I knew that the instant I left that place forgetting it all would be so easy because that's what the devil aims to do, he aims to destroy.

We left Texas last Sunday and before we piled in the vans and began our 20 hour drive home we attended church with our new friends. The sermon was given by a woman named Tina whom we had been hearing about the entire week. People were praying for her, giving updates about her but I had no idea why or what was going on. Part of Tina's heart and stopped working the week previous to our arrival and the doctors had planned surgery to try to correct the problem. A situation arose that caused the doctors to push the surgery back about 3 hours and in the words of Tina "3 hours is all God needed". When the nurse came back to see how everything was going before the surgery was going to begin they discovered that Tina's heart was beating normally; God preformed a miracle. 

When she got up in front of the church she spoke about fighting against the devil. About how this is a war, not a game.
She said we need to learn how to fight the war now, for worse days are coming when "false Christs and false prophets will appear and perform great signs and miracles to deceive even the elect" (Matthew 24:24).
She said we need to fight the war in Jesus' name. We need to stand, to declare, to verbally take authority.
We need to remind the enemy who he is and who our God is. We need to fight unashamed. We do not need to be afraid.

I left the church service full of confidence that I would not lose sight of my new way of living when I returned to Northwestern. When I got back to school I wrote down things that I need to focus on and taped them above my bed so I could see them when I wake up every morning. I took an accountability sheet from some of the sisters at Calvary Commission and began implementing it into my week. I continuously reminded myself that my thoughts were God's and Satan had no right to interfere with them. I was going strong for about 3 days. Then I got sick.

After living for 20 years I've come to find that I'm the biggest wimp around. I didn't realize it at the time but now, looking back on the last few days my mind wasn't taken over the way I thought it would or the way I fought so hard to prevent. When I got sick my thoughts went from God and His word to me and my kleenex box. Every thought running through my mind and even worse almost every word coming out of my mouth was about me and about how much I hate being sick. I stopped thinking about the reminders taped to my ceiling, I strayed away from my regular quiet time and even my prayer time because I felt sorry for myself.

Lesson for the week: expect the unexpected
And even when the unexpected comes, keep fighting and keep driving toward God, knowing Him more and seeing Him in everything. My mind switched directions when I wasn't looking and I stopped pursuing the new things I was going to implement into my everyday life. Time to get back on track and keep fighting the war.

"For the struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefor put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground"

~Ephesians 6:12&13