The yoke is being shattered

"As I sit behind this screen typing words the way they seem they come spinning out my soul leave me bare and so exposed. And as I sort through all this mess that's always jumbled in my head I'm ashamed of who I am, a wayward son, a wayward man. And I find that my heart is a traitor inside, can You come and vindicate it? I wanna love you but I don't understand why my heart is a traitor. I love what I can't stand. I wanna follow all that You've ever said, but my heart is a traitor. I want to be free of this, can You break me free of this?" -David Dunn, Traitor

My heart is a traitor. I've realized lately that I dwell on things for a lot longer than I should. Little things that probably wouldn't matter to any one except me. I dwell on them so much that they stop me from getting my head on strait and focusing on what I need to focus on. When this happens, my mind as well as my heart get so side tracked that often times it stops me from looking to God for my success. I get stuck in a rut.

Yesterday 10 girls and I started Beth Moore's "Breaking Free" Bible study. I'm ridiculously excited about this study. We watched the introduction last night and I did my first "homework" for the study this morning.

For the past few days, especially Saturday and Sunday, God has been noticeably preparing my heart for this study. Being "set free" kept coming up, multiple times a day. Whether it was conversation with a friend, the "Jesus Calling" for that day, or the Pastor's sermon, it seriously came up ALL the time! When it first began to show up continually my thought was "okay, God, I get it. I'm bound by so many things right now that are hindering me from coming to you, I get it, you can stop now." Thankfully, He didn't stop. He knew I understand that I was in bondage but He also knew that just because I see and understand something doesn't mean that I'll do anything about it.

Last night in the introduction Beth said so many things that hit me in the gut.

One of the first things was what she said after we read Judges 6:1-6, the first verse in this passage is "Again the Israelites did evil in the eyes of the LORD" Beth emphasized the word 'again', we know things are wrong but we keep doing them again and again and AGAIN. "Why did I do this AGAIN?" has been a question I have asked myself over and over in my 20 years. But then she said

"You can be freed from your 'again'."

I want that so bad, I want to be freed from my 'again', from everything that hinders me from walking hand in hand with the Lord all the time. I don't want to slip backwards AGAIN.

God is opening my eyes to bondage in my life that I was too blind to even realize was there. I'm learning that just because the chains haven't cut into my skin and caused pain yet doesn't mean they aren't there holding me down. I realized this past week that I have chains that have caused wounds in the past, that have cut deep but just because the wound has healed doesn't mean that I've been freed from that chain, I've just found ways to nurture the wounds the chains have caused so that they don't hurt. God has the power to free me.

"Today is the day of God's favor!" God has given me so many blessings! For example:

Side note: open your eyes to the blessings in your life. It sound cliche but really, it's so simple just to walk around all day on autopilot, but when you do that you miss so much. Figure out whats got you in your rut, nip it in the bud and enjoy this beautiful Tuesday

"The people walking in darkness have seen a great light; on those living in the land of the shadow of death a light has dawned...For as in the day of Midians' defeat, you have shattered the yoke that burdens them"

Isaiah 9:2,4